Sunday, October 16, 2011

We're just Ordinary People

But God can do extraordinary things with us.

This is a circle, just stick with me...

Have you ever been used by someone? Have you ever used someone? Knowingly used them to get ahead in school or in business? Have you known you were being used but just let it happen anyway? I have. I've been used and I've used those around me to help me. You know, those calls whenever they really need you to help them out but no calls just to see how you're doing? Those "friends" who say they'll always be there for you, but when you finally need them they're too busy or they just don't answer. Yeah, I've been there. Or only talking to that person when you need help with school work (or business work) but ignoring them when you see them out on the town. I have a servant heart, I want to help people, I want to see them smile, I want to see them be successful. I knowingly let those around me use me while I was in college. I called them friends, but really they just needed me around to get them to class or help them in class or get their next meal. I bent over backwards to get them to their peaks and their highs while ignoring my needs and passing up my opportunities to succeed in college. I answered every phone call, every text, every Facebook message to help them when they needed it. I never felt full, I never felt happy while in college. I had temporary moments of happiness, but I was focused on the wrong things in college. I ignored those who truly cared for me because I wanted the ones I pursued to care for me. I in turn used people. I only called on some people on Thursdays to go to FCA with me or I only called my small group co-leader when I needed spiritual help. I only called some people for school work help but then didn't call them on the weekends or in the week to hang out and have dinner with. Its a vicious cycle of using one another.

Do you know we some times use God? I realized this morning that I've been using God. I've only called on Him when I'm real real low or when I needed help on my next test that I didn't study for or when I didn't have a friend around to really talk to. I only acknowledged Him while I was at FCA or at church or small-group. I didn't acknowledge Him in the good times, I only asked for help in the bad times. Can you imagine how broken His heart was every time I was happy and didn't thank Him for the joy in my heart? Or how excited He was to hear me cry out, only to know it was because I was sad or in trouble? There's a song by Hillsong called "All For Love" and the chorus says, "Oh how many times have I broken Your heart, But still You forgive If only I ask. And how many times have You heard me pray 'Draw near to me?'" He continues to draw near to me, He continues to forgive me because He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

Did you know that God uses us? IN A GOOD WAY! Amen, I'm so thankful that He has a plan for me to "prosper" and a plan for me to draw people to Him and make His kingdom bigger. God is never going to call on us when He needs us. God doesn't need us, He wants us, to be a part of His plan. He includes us in His work because He wants to be around us and He wants to know us. I am an ordinary girl from Arlington, Texas, but I'm going to do extraordinary things in my lifetime because He is going to use me. I don't want to use God anymore. I want to be His genuine friend who calls Him just to say, "Hi, I love you. I'm thankful you're in my life. Thank you for being who you are." I want to smile at Him daily because He woke me up to see another day. I want to acknowledge Him in the good, the bad, the pain, the joy, EVERY MOMENT of life because I'm His creation and I'm living a out a life He has already planned for me. In a Kirk Franklin song, "Everyone Hurts," he says, "Not for everything but in everything, give thanks." That's sooo true! Thank you for my joy, thank you for my smiles, my laughs, my sorrow, my pain, my tears. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for being my genuine friend who is there for me always. I wanna be that best friend to you, God. :)

This was a heart post, something I wanted to write about. There will be more of these as DTS goes along. I'll be processing a lot of things, so most of them will be written to the public. I hope what I'm going through can help you, too.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

2 comments:

  1. I love you and I am going to get you a present for going to the post office you are the best. I love love you. And I love you so much. This is stone.

    So stone and I prayed and asked God what we could give you so be looking for a present. Love you and I have told my friend, God, how happy I am for the work in you. It's a beautiful thing. You are beautiful. Love you.

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  2. Ah thank you, Adrianne and Stoney! I love you both and miss you guys! I'll be looking for your present :) thank you for thinking of me!!

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